Teaching, Celebrating and a Night at the Ballet

Day 10: The fresh air helped me sleep through the night! By 6:30 a.m. I was awake and catching up on the work I missed yesterday. Eliza, the Kyrgyz-American I met Monday, is taking me shopping at Osh Bazaar. I must correct myself. I thought it was her father with ties to Ala-Too International University, but it is her mother. Her mother is a psychologist and was Dean of Social Sciences (I think) and psychology faculty.

Shopping with Eliza was like shopping with my sister. Warm and friendly, and we bought everything! Eliza expertly navigated the Bazaar and bargained prices for us, though I think she would have done better without this foreigner in tow! The bazaar is really crowded and it is easy to get separated, so we connected arms as we walked at times. It reminded me of the Netherlands when girlfriends link arms when they walk. In the Netherlands it is Gezellig (cozy) and in Osh Bazaar it was also practical. 

After shopping for hours, Mutarbek collected us, and we picked up her mother, father, nephew and son on the way to her home. Mutarbek and his sister are friends with Eliza’s parents and Eliza grew up with Mutarbek’s daughter. Someone made the comment that everyone knows everyone in Kyrgyzstan.

After playing all day at a play place, Eliza’s nephew fell asleep in the car. I was comforting to carry his warm, sleepy body into the house, though I admit kicking off the shoes outside makes it a little harder. When I entered the home the first thing I noticed was all the beautiful red rugs, and when I washed my hands in the bathroom I noticed the enclosed shower. I didn’t know they existed in Kyrgyzstan!

Eliza and her mother were busy taking care of the kids and putting food out. They call Eliza’s son Aiden “American Boy” and he did look American for the short time he watched cartoons on the iPhone. When we went to the dining room, Eliza and her mother were busy so I started eating with her father and Mutarbek. I couldn’t understand their conversation, but it was nice to listen.

Eliza’s father recently had a stroke and has paralysis on his left side. I could tell they were talking about it when her father showed Mutarbek his exercise. When I commented, he showed me several other things he was doing during recovery. He is recovering quite well and has mostly fine motor challenges on his left side. The family is supporting him to recover. When they describe some of the things he struggles with (sensory changes, ADLs, emotional lability, etc.), I wish they had more services. I don’t think they’ve had education on things that are completely normal after stroke, especially early in recovery, which could be really frustrating for a caregiver.

I really felt like I was with family during dinner, with Eliza and her mom juggling children and the meal as her father wandered in and out. When Aiden was fell asleep, I talked to Eliza’s mom. As a psychologist, she wants to start a private practice and include students in service delivery. It sounds like our OT service learnin,g and I think she has the vision and passion to start it.

Eliza said she has interest in autism as it is growing in prevalence in Kyrgyzstan. We talked a little about services and telehealth. I would love to have her visit KUMC and observe some of our practices.

In Kyrgyz culture the blessing comes at the end of the meal. I was humbled by the warm blessing thanking me for being there and serving Ala-Too International University. Mutarbek also received a warm blessing for him and his newly married daughter. I really like the Kyrgyz way of ending a wonderful meal with a blessing. I felt even more like family when Eliza’s mom sent me home with enough food to feed me for the week!

Day 11: I started the day with a quiet morning catching up on work. Though my WiFi is slow, I’m grateful to work at the apartment as the office at the university can get quite busy. I’m finding my talks about evidence-based practice and scholarly writing resonate best with students.

My schedule is a bit challenging as I get a name, room number and something general like “thesis” as a topic. I initially found the lack of detail distressing, but as I become accustomed I find it helpful to provide the topic rather than rely on AIU faculty.

Today I was expecting cold and snow, but it is another beautiful sunny day. After working until about 2 p.m., Eliza picked me up by taxi to meet a friend she knows from her college days in Bishkek. I’m grateful she picks me up by taxi as I still haven’t managed to arrange one myself. My passport plan on my phone has been a comfort and essential for navigation at times, but it is also a barrier to utilizing local services. I downloaded a taxi app, but can’t use it because it requires a local number (more digits). People have mentioned other options, and I need to have them teach me so I’m not so dependent.

Eliza’s friend lives in an area I hadn’t visited. It feels modern with several gated apartment buildings and businesses on the ground floor of each. One had underground parking, which I haven’t seen elsewhere. The newness of the area was a stark contrast to the aging taxi that took us there. The car ran very rough and had kind of a hiccupping rhythm every time it idled. I thought it died when we got out to see if we were in the right place.

Eliza mentioned she sometimes feels bad for her people. The driver obviously works hard and from what I understand mechanics are very expensive here. More than one person has said this is a hard country to make a living. In Kyrgyzstan people seem to help each other rather than turn to violence when faced with hardship. When Eliza’s cell phone wasn’t working (another USA data plan) the taxi driver offered his so she could call her friend for directions. It is common for people to help here. The only violence I’ve seen was men fighting in Osh Bazaar. Though there appear areas with greater poverty in Bishkek, they don’t seem to carry the danger of poor areas in the United States.

We were having trouble finding Eliza’s friend, Dimera, so she met us on the street and escorted us. The gated area of her apartment building had lots of bikes, adult and child. I haven’t seen anyone on bikes here, and it would be a challenging place to ride with the crazy traffic. Though there are some large sidewalks in some places. Dimera’s apartment was gorgeous. A big entry for removing shoes opened into a large living room and kitchen. Everything was very modern. The kitchen had a gas range and big refrigerator like what we would have in the states. On the dining table attached to the living room, there was an impressive spread of food waiting (photo).

Dimera’s God daughters and friend were also over. And all of them had kids! The youngest looked to be about 18 months and the oldest was 14. The apartment was full of energy with children running laps around the apartment and climbing furniture. This group of women had a lot of international travel and work experience. They had attended international schools (taught in English), completed study/work abroad experiences, and travelled for their own or their husbands work. One was a lawyer, one was working in agricultural policy, and I can’t remember the others. All were successful, young women with young families. They described our gathering like a “girl’s night,” and it was really nice to join these women for fun and conversation.

They were all gracious to use English to include me. Like other Kyrgyz meals, we started with salads and tea. There was also roasted whole fish. Our host poured wine for us all, but I noticed the women hardly touched it. It was almost like wine was expected for a “girl’s night” but no one really wanted it.

Our meal progressed to matby (dumplings), plov (rice), fruit and nuts in between, and cake for dessert. Lots of tea and conversation, but not much wine. Contrary to what I learned in the first few days while grocery shopping, Kyrgyz people don’t really drink much. In fact, the women told me it would be frowned upon to drink regularly, even just socially, as you might be considered alcoholic.

I’m so grateful to be invited to homes, so I don’t leave with false impressions of Kyrgyzstan. The young women also shared how in their culture women take on traditional roles of caring for their husband, children and homes when they get married. It is expected the women will do everything and few men choose to help their wives with homemaking and child rearing. Though one of the women considered her husband more progressive and said he was active with parenting. Though he was currently studying in Korea, so she was on her own. 

The women also explained they could take up to three years unpaid maternity leave and be guaranteed return to their job. One of the women had been on maternity leave for about a year. They were somewhat appalled that six to eight weeks (sometimes less) is common for women in US. The meal lasted about 6 hours, and in that time children napped, played, watched cartoons, etc. The women were up and down taking care of them. They talked about their culture of strict parenting, which I observed when one of the young boys was knocking down the youngest girl. He was persistent with picking on her and got a stern lecture from his mother and the girl’s mother more than once!

The older girls were encouraged to speak English with us and one used a dining chair as a stage to recite a Russian poem she was learning at school. She was the most brave and curious of the group. I gave the children a Sporting KC flag and some Jayhawk pencils that they immediately used. I wish I brought more things from home to share with the families that have welcomed me. Dimera also shared a gift with me which I was not expecting. I am constantly amazed by the generosity here.

While we were eating and watching kids, Dimera’s brother was working on an application to study in Korea. He wanted feedback on his personal statement, which I was happy to share. The first draft was quite compelling and I hope his application is successful. At some point we took a break from the meal to tour the apartment. It was huge with 3 bedrooms two bathrooms. The bathroom not only had an enclosed shower, but also a double sink! I’m learning the open shower is not so common. I wish mine was enclosed!

At the end of the evening, Dimera sent me home with food. Eliza says this is common and expected. I imagine it is a lot of work for women to host gatherings as we had a 6-hour meal and left a dining table and kitchen to be cleaned. When we left, the children were adorable as they waved and said goodbye … in English.

Day 12: Thanks to Dimera, I had a nice pastry for breakfast. I’m finding I rarely need to go to the grocery store. This morning I had an early start to talk to linguistic and interpretation students about evidence-based practice and scholarly writing. The faculty stayed to listen and were as engaged as the students. 

These talented students speak multiple language,s and I wish I could have one with me when I’m out and about in Bishkek. I’m finding most classes meet in two-hour blocks with a 10 or 15-minute break every 50 minutes. During this break, I was treated to homemade baklava and tea, cola, coffee (yes, all three). The baklava was the best I’ve ever had, and it was a nice way to get all the students engaged together. Afterward, the faculty and I were scraping the bottom of the pan to eat the last delicious remains.

When class ended, I was surprised to walk out to a roped off area with art and students dressed in Kyrgyz and Chinese clothing. I knew this week Bishkek was celebrating the famous writer, Aytmatov Chyngyz Torokulovich, since I saw his decorated memorial at “Remembering our Fathers.” but I didn’t realize AIU had festivities today.

I had some time, so I decided to hang out with the students to see what was happening. A few of the faculty shared information about the writer and told me events should start soon. I didn’t wait long before I was invited to join some faculty in a special waiting room. There I met Rosa, the famous writer’s sister. She was having tea with educational leaders of AIU, and I was honored for the invitation to join them.

Shortly after, we were led to a ribbon cutting for Rosa to officially open a new room built in her brother’s honor. After spending some time showing off the room and honoring Rosa and her brother, we were led out to watch a performance. While I’m grateful to be included in the festivities, I felt a bit bad as I’m sure my seat was meant for someone else.

While we watched, a young man presented a dramatic oratory  and a young women played the national 3-string instrument and sang . Rosa again cut a ribbon to open this area where students presented their arts. Chinese language students interpreted the authors work to Chinese and presented in Chinese traditional clothing. Kyrgyz students presented different art forms.

I found a hand looped snow leopard particularly impressive. The student completed it in a week and said he wished he’d had more time to work on the color of the snow leopard’s fur. After admiring the art, there were many pictures of the group. Today I tried to shy away from them a bit as I thought the honor was for Rosa, her family and esteemed AIU faculty. They insisted I be included, which was very kind. The group invited me to the celebratory lunch, but I needed to prepare for afternoon classes.

In the faculty cafeteria, I met Yulia, who had been in my morning class. It was a nice to have someone to talk to while we ate. I’m finding even if I enter the faculty lunch room alone, I can always find a friendly face. In the afternoon, I talked about scholarly writing with law students. I think this topic was much more relevant to them than the quantitative research design I presented to older students the week before. The small group was engaged and grateful (picture).

Afterward, Aliya brought me to the student canteen for tea while I waited for my ride. Though I insisted I did not need food, we also enjoyed a nice chocolate pudding together. I have spoken to Aliya’s students twice, and I welcome the invitation so I can feel useful to the university.

I returned to my flat briefly to get ready to attend the ballet that evening. 

Eliza joined me at my flat and brought me a huge bag of strawberries. Everyone had been telling me how good they are and they’re right! They are much smaller than ours, but also much sweeter. Eliza is planning a visit for her in-laws next year, and considering my apartment building for them since it is close to her home.

As she checked out the place, she assured me an open shower is not normal and she would request a shower curtain for this place in the future. We didn’t have tickets, so Mutarbek drove us to the Bishkek Philharmonic Hall early. I invited Eliza and intended to pay, but again found that credit cards are not accepted. I had just enough cash for the tickets, but then no money to contribute to food or taxi while we were out.

Eliza was of course gracious about it, but it is a frustration to rely on others for transportation and now cash. The only thing that made me feel OK about it was Eliza was in the same situation with me a few days before at Osh Bazaar. Getting to a bank is not always convenient. Once we got tickets we found a quiet restaurant across the street. After contemplating food, we both decided on beer and snacks (chips & cheese). Eliza doesn’t drink at her parent’s home, and I haven’t had much opportunity either, so it was nice to share a beer and conversation while we waited for the ballet. Kind of an unclassy dinner before an elegant event. The restaurant had signs saying it accepted credit cards, and I intended to pay, but again I could not use my credit card. The internet was too slow to process it, so Eliza ended up paying.

 We got back to the Bishkek Philharmonic Hall just in time to be seated. The ballet was beautiful. I was surprised we could take pictures and video of the performance, but when I saw others doing it I joined them. The dancers were flawless and it was an impressive performance. During intermission we took some time to look at the artifacts and art honoring previous performers. I was surprised the ballet was not accompanied by an orchestra. I learned that the previous night’s performance of Swan Lake experienced technical difficulties and lost sound for a while. The audio was good for our performance. It was fun to go with a friend who shared she wanted to be a dancer as a child. It was a nice evening out.